two hearts. . . one love. . . bliss

Sunday, October 30, 2005

it has been a rather interesting weekend for me... not a happy one but a rather interesting one... not exactly smooth sailing.. lost alot of money and all... *grumpy growls* oh well i ain't gonna think bout that no more... that's the past... *sobs* haha...

I had a rather degrading but amusing job on friday... I was promoting kotex cuz they were launching their new image kinda thing. Alot of other guy models were called up to promote the event. We met up at the main office at amoy street to register ourselves and get our pink umbrellas with the kotex sign on it... We as in Melvin, Ziski and myself.. thereafter we had to walk to raffles place where the launch was being held and the worst thing was that we had to walk around with the umbrellas open so as u can guess we kinda attracted alot of stares... It looked a hell lot like a road funeral or something. The job itself demanded alot of energy cuz i wasn't able to sleep the previous night and i was surviving on nicotine rushes and nothing else. We had to go around approaching the opp sex saying something like "Hi, my name is James and I would like to invite you to an exclusive ladies event that being held at the coffee club... this event last from 11-3 and there'll be free desserts, refreshments, beauty & hair treatment and massages in store for you! so could i escort you to the coffee club?" well along those lines... most people were more interested in the umbrella than the event itself... maybe i can sell it on E-bay or something cuz they gave the umbrellas to us aft the event. aft that, i headed home for a well deserved rest but like i had to go for Li Yi's party so i woke up aft around 3 hours of slp and headed down to her place... smashed her with cake and acted like i didn't do it when she looked at me.. heh heh..

It was sorta like a last minute idea but Gerard for some reason suggested that we went for the walk at macritchie and i readily agreed cuz it's been awhile since i've visited the place... in the end it was jus Mike, Gerard and I who made our way from Macritchie to Bukit Timah.. It was kinda uneventful at first... i repeat AT FIRST... we saw glowing mushrooms for the first time! it was kinda cool... and the not so cool part came a little while after that when i started to smell some sweet fragrance coming from god knows where.... in the end we all said a prayer and the smell went away... Pushing the supernatural aside, when we arrived at this river i decided to go ahead cuz it didn't look really treacherous or anything but i was cautious about where i walked cuz i was afraid of mudholes so i was like using the torch to see where i was stepping on... i stepped on this harmless looking puddle and turned back to tell the guys that it was safe to come down when i suddenly disappeared! guess where i was? IN A FREAKING DEEP MUDHOLE!... like my whole lower body had submerged in with the torch mind you.... so i threw the torch on dry ground and sorta let panic take over me... started shouting at the guys to help me out... the weeds and plants in the mudhole were like wriggling around my tighs and ankles and i jus had a sudden fear of underwater creatures... they managed to pull me up in the end and like my right leg was covered with mud and my shoes well... my once white shoes were brown... and i felt and smelt like the dirtiest fella ever... gosh... not to mention freezing! From there, it was just mostly talking all the way. Hmm... we almost fell into the river though... haha... my bad. Witnessed a couple of monkeys having fun too.. as in real monkeys... haha by the end of the day we were all shagged out, smelly and dirty... Mikey shouted "civilisation!" when we reached bukit timah haha... manged to get our worn out bodies to my place and took a nice hot bath before eating a bowl of maggi and then heading to sleep.

Today is a sad day for manchester united... i don't usually use their full name unless they piss me off... but like how could anyone lose to boro 4-1???? Especially Man Utd... Urgh... ok i'm not gonna fume no more... Shirley's a happy girl cuz her liverpool did well... Gosh.... What the hell happened to Van Der Sa... this will definitely be in the papers tml.. for all the wrong reasons... Gerard has stated that we're going to church tml and then we're gonna bet on Man City.. haha... going to church for the wrong reasons too.. see if his stupid idea works.... nitez ppl!

4:03 AM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

the simple pleasures in life everyone which everyone tends to forget... or rather, take for granted. Friends for example... Why am i suddenly "saying" this is because I all of us have taken each other for granted... I met all of the guys yesterday... we were at RK and it just felt great sitting there with them and just laughing at small talk and funny actions. I even have a photo of us (Ben, Gerard and myself) posing as super heroes, Ben was holding some wushu sword, Gerard was clinging to a dagger and i was holding a gun... haha... talk bout reliving our childhood fantasies huh?

I do not give a hoot what you might think of us. You people can go make your assumptions, be prejudiced and stereotype us but I don't care. If it makes your lives more worthwhile to just have that small bit of excitement then go wild. Politics, something the world cannot do without... i wouldn't say cannot do without it's more like the world wants to live with it. Mr nice guy will never survive in such a place... is that why people change eventually? Look at a baby now or a young primary school kid.. notice his/her innocence? Someday, that'll all change drastically... it might not just be due to politics but if u think about it carefully, it somehow leads to that. When we grow up and have kids, do we want our kids to be subjected to that? Maybe that's why certain parents tend to cling on to their child so protectively? But in a way, isn't that hurting the child? If he/she becomes so dependent on their parents and are not shown the harsh realities of life won't they be more hurt n surprised later on in life if someone backstabs them for whatever reasons? Life is full of a thousand and one questions (no i don't mean it literally) can all of them be answered? i doubt so.... *shrugs*

3:39 PM

Monday, October 24, 2005

lo! it's time i updated my blog... been rather busy these past few days (wad's new?).. doing everything except thinking bout school... but i've thought bout it today n i've made a decision.. i'm going to continue with my semester but in the meantime, i'll try to get into another course.. cuz i can't place all my hopes to something which isn't concrete... i might or i might not get a new course so i rather play it safe than lose my place in school.. hope i can cope with 10 modules nxt sem... it's gonna be rather hectic for me but i guess that's jus wad i get for being plain lazy...

Li Yi's birthday is this friday.. n yes Li Yi, i'll be coming for your party... sori i didn't reply you that day.. i was preoccupied with smth else... Shucks, i didn't go for cat class or mass either... heh n i lied to my parents that i did... tps melvin too.... n we had planned the lesson the night before already and all... the night when Chelsea friggin drew... n lost me alot of money... (i think i'm gonna eat like porridge for the whole wk) n bibi wants me to go for the party.... said she'll pay for me first... well if gerard goes i'll tag along... i would prefer to go for the halloween party at newsroom though... i mean cigarettes are paid for n my fren's opening bottles... hell i'll jus be a typical singaporean n free load *grinz*

Oh yea you noe wad the idiots (Shaun, Ben and Chee Wee) did? they tried calling me but i was sleeping cuz i had not slept well for the past 2 nights or so.. then they came over n tried knocking on the door n bangin the door but i still slept on... they called my house too but my mom wasn't at home n i didn't hear the ringin... guess what they resorted to? They took little stones n threw it at my window cuz i live on the 2nd floor... (i knew it was a mistake living on the second floor grrr) i woke up with a start cuz i thought i heard a loud "crack" but then apparently i heard laughter and ben's voice from down below.... lucky nothing broke.... so i opened the window, cursed them and asked them to come up... haha... couldn't go back to slp so headed down to gardens aft awhile.. slacked there n came home relatively fast... this life is seriously gettin boring.. n there's no anime to watch anymore... gosh...

9:15 PM

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

i'm LACKADAISICAL at the moment (is that how that word is used SP?) Every single living day has been so routine... I wake up at ungodly hours and hang out in gardens till I feel bored.. if there are no other plans for the day, i'll jus go home and read a novel or go online and watch anime or something. It's sounds so monotonous and boring... I've never realised that my life had become so routine, I start noticing negative things when i'm not really that happy.. i'm not really happy at the moment.. My mom just got her paws on the monthly handphone bill.. *gulps* i received a rather nasty call from her too... and my weekly allowance has been erm.... reduced to a meager sum? haha to pay for the bill.... *Shrugs* oh well it'll all blowover in 3 wks.... [8.10p.m]

jus came back from my class chalet... damn that stupid toklet... i told him to call me when he was at the chalet cuz he said "i'll go down first cuz i've nth to do anyway" then i waited till 11.45 for his call n when i called him he said he was home alreadi... **** so anyways, i tried to walk to the bus stop to make it for the last bus but being the sway fella that i am, i didn't make it... and i only had 2 bucks in my wallet so i couldn't take a cab either.. but Shahrul being the great guy that he is offered to give me a lift home on his bike... he had no spare helmet so he went home to get his spare while i waited at the chalet... Seriously, riding a bike is super cool... i've rode behind before but not long distance... n Shahrul liked seriously stepped on the gas man.. haha n the feelin of the wind blowing on my jacket is great!!!

Oh well, i've been busy the past few days.... been concentratin on bettin n stuff... been winning money n i'd like it to stay that way... but that's not all i've been thinkin about... hey SP, sori i came back so late... Shahrul took longer than i thought he would...

I was thinkin, u noe i really don't noe who i've become at the moment... i've become this empty shell walkin around with no purpose in life.. i look back at who i was and i feel i had more purpose in life compared to now... have i lost all that? My dad jus called me a bum... someone who lives off his parents... n i smiled at him cuz he was half drunk but it made me think... and i could only agree with him... I've failed my 1st semester terribly... cuz i was too full with myself.. too lazy... I've lost alot of respect ppl once had in me... cuz apparently my morals got compromised... and i didn't care a hoot bout my dignity... I've ignored many human values that were once instilled in me... I mean we are are all human, so there is room for error n everything.. but i've pretty much screwed up my life in many ways and it'll take a whole lot of effort to change it back.. part of me wants this life... but another part of me noes that if i continue like that i'll jus waste my life... n i'll have no future. See... ppl who see me now think i'm this bad ass playboy who smokes and drinks... hangs out with bad company, hangs out late into the night and gambles his life away... hell, i even look like a gangster. But what if i wasn't built that way? I feel so empty now... something's missing in my life... my frenz would ask me to get a gf.. would a girlfriend complete me? If there's nothing in your heart then no amount of brains would help you... is that true?? love has like no meaning to me at the moment... it's jus another word that humans come up with for a feeling.. which ironically they dunno the meaning of.. whoever readin this can tell me the true meanin of love? it's so general... it's such a big word... no one can find the meanin of love... I'm getting too worked up into this that it seems like it's an essay yea? i've alot of thoughts in my head now... n as u can see it's rather mixed up.. oh well when i come up with the meanin to love i'll tell you... I'm not in love now anyways.. i'm in chemistry! heh... that would mean that i feel i have chemistry with someone... *shrugs* dunno where it'll lead to but i'll see what the future brings... n i intend to change my image somehow... i noe gals like bad ass guys but that's jus a phase.. i mean even if u look drop dead gorgeous but no character it'll serve no purpose...

looks like i got carried away huh? better stop now... gonna go view my soccer statistics... Y can't man utd freakin score??? gosh, they must be on terrible form without rooney.. alright ciao!

3:46 AM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

harlow harlow! jus got off the phone with... *grinz* ... SP haha... learnt smth new today but i can't say... *pouts* oh well... i'm really sick of alcohol at the moment.. if i drink anymore anytime soon i'll definitely fall ill... drank a hell lot last night... like became really high... *nods* it was quite a group yesterday... let me see... Calvin, Jona, Melvin, Gerard, Leanna, Xuan Fang, Shaun, Jared, Mikey, John, Marcel, Ben and myself were all cramped on 2 tables drinkin and smokin seisha... good stuff seisha.. don't noe how to explain it but it's jus flavoured smoke... haha... encountered a few surprises too but i ain't gonna say wad.. haha they noe wad they did *winks* n on a heavier note, the bill came up to quite a large sum of money n i got robbed!!! haha.. not literally... i jus gave all the money i had... which was quite alot n now i don't have money for anythin anymore. sheesh....

Man Utd won me some money tonight... haha they won sunderland 3-1 HA! n Chelsea won Bolton 5-1... gosh... they're really on form... think i won like 70 bucks tonight... gonna put my money on Charlton tml... Oh n i promised the guys that if i won the man utd game i'd go to church so i guess i gotta go off early today.... *shrugs* haha.... Guess i'll go for cat class tml too... gotta remember to bring the gum... k it's been a rather uneventful day... (not really jus that i'm too lazy to type a detailed account on wad happened yesterday... i still feel the alcohol swimmin in me... not a great feeling i can tell you that).. gonna scram! ciao!

2:14 AM

Thursday, October 13, 2005

status: Tired and stoned

The reason??? simple... hmm how do i explain this... well i sorta have jet lag?? haha yea... hope u ppl get it.. see well i stayed up on tue night till the wee hours of the morning readin this novel by sydney sheldon.. bout politics n stuff yea... so i slept at 6.30am?? yea then melvin woke me up at 9 plus to tell me to wake up... but i went back to slp for awhile... woke up around 10.50 n called the bugger.. guess wad? he was still sleeping.... sheesh n i was supposed to go out with him too... oh well went to watch a movie... Dark Waters (english version)... Please Please Please don't waste your time n hard earned money on the movie... it sucks... big time... Yea then i headed down to gardens to meet Bean... i was pretty shagged out while eatin chicken rice for lunch... then slowly everyone started comin down... Melvin only came at 3.30?? (n they complain i'm always late) We headed down to play lan where my spirits fell to a dramatic all time low... (don't wanna talk bout it) Ate dinner at gardens and rented some movies to watch at shaun's house... By the way if u ppl didn't noe, it's Gerard's 17th birthday... yea n at shaun's house aft watchin the lamest horror flick i've ever come across, Gerard drank 6 shots of XO neat... haha n he puked in a plastic bag straight after the 6th shot... he even had involuntarily spasms... which was veri farnie... haha... aft that, i headed home n here i am now...

Sori i haven't been updating regularly cuz i don't really go online in the night that often anymore.. jus felt like it today... n it's not really considered night isit? haha i called SP last night too... talked for like 5mins?? haha... cuz like a min is like $1++ n i wouldn't want my mom screaming bloody murder on me.. jus talked bout wad we did that day and a good night.... haha... oh yea n the reason i'm not really online in the night anymore's cuz SP has sch... haha n if i'm online she'll be talkin to me n that's not good... *grinz* nah that's not the whole reason... cuz she might go off earlier n like usually there's no one to talk to so late/early in the night/morning... haha k i'm off to bed now... Gerard said he doesn't wanna waste the day... so he requested that i wake up early.. i dunno how in cherry walnuts i'm gonna do that but i will try....

5:20 AM

Sunday, October 09, 2005

ok note to self once again.... do not i repeat do not drink barcadi 151 shots consecutively in 2 nights... you'll feel like shit and feeling like shit is not exactly a nice feeling... *nods* anyways did i say that we found a new hang out place in gardens?? guess we're gonna be regulars there... we're gonna open a bottle of 151 nxt friday... (we're so gonna die). If i continue like that by the end of the year we'll all be able to control our alcohol intake relatively well.... So far our drinkin clique consist of Melvin, Gerard, Ben, Jared, Shaun (sit down lepak king), Marcel and me i guess... should ask more ppl to come on friday... Seems like we're those businessmen who finds clubbing a liddle too boring alreadi n rather sit down at a bar n have a couple of drinks together.. heh... Jus cuz of that i didn't go to church nor cat class again today... *yawns* i was too tired.. woke up at 4 in the afternoon... wadya think? n SP said she was gonna stay up till 2.30 but she went to slp... *shrugs* so i went to play street wars until 6 in the morning n went to bed... so obviously i couldn't wake up... nxt week might be a diff case though... i'll drink on friday n then go home earlier on sat.. should be goin cat class (i think) no promises though.. haha..

10:03 PM

Saturday, October 08, 2005

we were supposed to go blacks last night but in the end they were checkin id n everythin n tony couldn't sign in more guests cuz of the previous escapade of bean.. sheesh oh well... everything seemed pretty low cuz we took a cab there n it wasn't cheap then i decided hell... if i was gonna have fun, i won't pout and feel miserable so we took another cab back to gardens n went to the happy daze pub... we opened a bottle of JD and ordered a couple of shots... this particuliar shot got us all feeling a liddle screwed up... and we left the bottle there for safe keeping... one month's free mixer... not bad eh? oh well... then everyone headed home... haha... except for Gerard, Bean and me... we did smth.. jus the 3 of us... not that fun but not boring either... n i'm not playing that stupid game anymore..

Jus tonight made me think a couple of things... The world's not wad it seems to be... i mean on the outside everythin looks pretty but actually it's pretty corrupt don't you think? Morals are cultivated but like y do ppl throw away their morals jus for money? or for worldly pleasures? i mean i'm not one to talk but like it jus got myself thinkin... aft the game we played today... it's jus between the 3 of us so i can't say much bout the game but like it's a real intellectual game that caused us... i mean from what i gather... to think bout stuff... *shrugs*

oh n SP if u went to jail, the feeling would be mutual.... *grinz* nitez!

5:33 AM

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Good Morning Singapore!!! (take note that it's 7.00p.m in the evening) haha... jus woke up so don't blame me.... Haven't updated cuz these few days have been spent out n i only came back in the mornings heh...

Monday i headed down to tok's house to leech songs into my nano and chatted to SP on msn with the webcam haha.. when i wanted to leave it had started to rain like crazy n i had to bunk over at toklet's place... then the next day i went to gardens to slack and SP called me so we chatted for quite awhile and when i wanted to go back again, it started to rain cats n dogs... so i had to stay there till the morning when the buses started to come into service... Super Sway week huh?

Oh well at least yesterday was fine.. I went for this audition for macs... oh the shaky fries thingy is coming back to s'pore haha.. first hand news... cuz i auditioned for this guy who's a veri cheeky n mischevious fella and i happen to be walkin with my fren n we bought the fries.. then i see this industrial sized washing machine and i hug it... then my fren switches on the machine and i start shaking with the washing machine haha... hilarious.. oh well.. hope i get the job though cuz it's payin out $800??? yea haha... k gotta run ppl i'm gonna watch GOAL with Melvin and Gerard... Looks like a nice show.... well all real men watch soccer.. *Winks*

7:13 PM

Sunday, October 02, 2005

i went to chinablacks on friday night... didn't really spend long there... i wasn't in the mood.... it would have all been quite a hapi day for me if it weren't for some screw ups during the evening... we had some money issues... (when i say we i mean the guys and i) and i got into a tussle with someone.... got knocked up pretty badly... (my face is fine though) yea n pretty bruised up till today... somehow or another, i was fightin for my life so i guess it's a good thing huh? I had two choices, to allow him to beat me senselss or to fight back... n obviously i chose the latter... i do treasure my life...

I bought my nano on satuday.. like maybe 12 hours ago? it's chargin at the moment.... yea... SP says i don't sound too ecstatic bout it... oh well... i am hapi but then again alot's on my mind at the moment... she called me jus for amusement and didn't even say hello... so i sounded like an idiot saying "hello? hello?" sheesh oh well at least she was amused i guess....

We ate at Borsch jus now too... cuz it was kenneth's bdae and like we treated him to dinner... n aft dinner, we forced him to drink 18 glasses of teh ice... haha... he couldn't finish it.. n by the 6th or 7th cup he started to "merlion" (which is our new term for puking)... u should have seen the steak bits and teh ice mixed together... not really a pretty sight... then he had to head home and Shirley, Gerard, Ben, Jared and Chng trooped over to shaun's house to watch the matches being played... can you believe Man Utd n Fulham ended up with a 3-2 score??? sheesh like wad e hell was Van Der Sa thinkin??? at least they won though...

I ain't gonna blog tonight and this is gonna be my entry for the day.... I don't think i'm gonna go church today nor am i gonna teach the kids... I'll probably snap at the ones who piss me off... N somehow i feel i'm through with god... i guess i deserve all the shit that's happening now.. but hell if my parents are gonna do what they want to do..... god's bullshit.... sori kids... guess it's jus a phase... no worries... i'm sure he loves you... i hope he does. goodnight....

5:29 AM