another day, another story... one true love
♥
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I don't understand anything at all... I feel so frustrated but I don't know how the hell to explain it. I feel like punching the wall so hard that I break my hand... that's how frustrated I feel.
I need to visit the police station later they finally want to close my case.... and then I'll have to renew my passport... Gonna go on holiday next week. I don't know if she still wants to stay with me.... but I hope she does.
I'm sick and tired of goin through this everyday... I really appreciate you talking to me and everything and lettin me noe how you feel so don't stop doing that but we'll work our way through this relationship together. But about that issue seriously... I don't know what to say already... I was like on the edge of breaking down once again and leaving my fate to God... its so easy to not bother anymore but I'm trying.... I'm trying so hard.. cuz you mean the world to me. That issue is so stupid... I noe you feel scared but thats what it is... I don't wanna go back to square one again... it'll frustrate me extremely.. I've been getting shit for 4 days in a row and what's worse... I found out that something you said was something I didn't think you meant... it was so painful... and then suddenly you said that then I couldn't take it anymore... I'm sorry... but whatever the case is, I'm gonna stick by you no matter what... even if it means that I have to ram my damn head in the wall to take my mind off things... sigh...
I'm so so so sad and hurt... I also dunno why.
I'm sorry I made you feel the same way.
7:22 AM
Monday, February 26, 2007
The demon waits patiently. He knows his time will come once again and he does nothing but wait. It's just a matter of time before the world sees him once more in all his glory. He hears the cries of his host and does nothing to soothe it... for pain and sorrow are the essence of the demon's survival.
Pain and Sorrow surrounds him and he basks in its wonder.... he feels powerful once more after being sealed up for so long. With a menacing laugh which echoes throughout his hosts body, he rips the seal apart and reappears once again. The host finds himself sealed once again and he is terrified but there's nothing he can do... for a long long time.
10:07 PM
Saturday, February 24, 2007
its super early in the morning and I just got off the phone not too long ago....
I FEEL FUCKED UP....
Going to the Chingay Parade with Jamie and her parents later on in the day... "Yipee"
"and then you have to spoil it all by saying something stupid"
- in this case not saying anything at all....
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
I'm gonna go to the fucking bed... and try and get some fucking sleep... probably will wake up fucking early anyways... for nothing... FUCK!!!!!
Trees really get a bad deal... cuz i seriously feel like going down to fucking punch one....
4:33 AM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
This heart once pure was hardened by the realities of life
This heart once pure was enveloped in darkness
This heart once pure was scarred by a sharpened knife
This heart once pure knew no more of the word kindness
An eye for an eye this heart cried
Anxious, worried voices spoke with genuine concern
They spoke of morals and assumed they understood its plight
Ah but this heart, morals he could no longer discern
Everyone watched this heart grow with disdain
But this heart knew and mocked them with hatred
The world did not understand the pain
And yet they persisted, insisting it was fated
They came, they went
This heart saw it all and made it happen
The hurt they felt that this heart sent
It reveled in their helplessness, the kindness it had taken
Every beginning is said to have an end
And this heart realized the sins committed
This tainted heart needed to amend
So it did and the sins shall forever be omitted
This ray of light found its way to the heart
This ray of light softened the hardened wall around it
This ray of light opened the doors that were once shut
This ray of light gave the heart the kindness that was in need
This heart once tainted basked in the warmth of the light
This heart once tainted let itself be taken in completely
This heart once tainted now has new sight
This heart once tainted is bursting with love and ecstasy
Ah but alas this heart fears that the light will one day disappear
What would this heart do?
Life would be meaningless, year after year
So this heart gives all it can give even if its sad and blue
The light wants many things and this heart tries its best
Can it understand though?
The things the heart does without putting up a protest
Or is the light just going with the flow?
The light turns dull once in awhile as it needs to rest
The heart can’t possibly stop beating so it waits patiently
The light lights up but still thinks rest is best
The heart happy for awhile can only droop down sadly
Yes the heart wants many things but sadly it has to wait
It has to suit the light and its odd timing
But it will always adore the light no matter what’s been said
“I want to shine, but I can’t right now” the familiar phrase appearing
Sigh… I love you babe…. Sleep tight!
Oh and by the way people!!!! its JARED'S BIRTHDAY TODAY (he's 19 just in case you didn't noe) yea so GO WISH HIM! I'm eating dinner with the fella later...
Happy BIRTHDAY JARED CHAN!!!! You'll always be my brother from another mother!
8:53 AM
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
screw having any expectations... what do you get? nothing good i can tell you that.....
remember the book "GREAT EXPECTATIONS" by charles dickens?
FUCK YOU CHARLES!
whatever great expectations you have it'll never turn out right....
fucking year of the pig.... fucking pig....
3:39 PM
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Happy Lunar New Year everyone! Its not really a very happy one for me... cuz i'm sick among other things i guess... My mom lost money and she thinks i took it... and my dad also thinks its me when I did not even touch their fucking money... She pisses me off with "I'm gonna report to the police so they can trace back where it went" I didn't fucking touch the damn money... cb
Well thank god for the weather.... my fever is gone... that's bout the only fucking good thing bout the day...
I had a nightmare last night... shall not elaborate. actually doesn't really matter now.... yea
yea.... once again Happy Lunar New Year to you all... Rip all your relatives of their money... that's the whole point of these few days right? To get as much fucking money as you can... to be friendly with people you don't even noe... acting all smiley and all when you noe that they're cussing inside bout another 10 bucks gone or smth. Suddenly people start appearing and you only happen to see them on these few days... I wonder why... isn't it all for the money? Forgive my mood... I've got nothing better to do....
fuck it
yea
yea.
3:01 PM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
V day's finally come and gone... and I couldn't be a happier man right now. Thanks for the deeeelicious cookies lover!
Alright so let's begin by apologising for not blogging this month cuz I've been busy with the PRESENT and stuff and I've also been giving out flyers mind you... (OK FINE it was just 3 days but it's still work!) Singaporeans are so damn stuck up... I swear.... any of you reading this now should ALWAYS and i mean ALWAYS take flyers from the poor sods who are giving them out whenever you see them. You don't realise the pain and suffering they go through witnessing the screwed up people just walking by them and giving them the "oh shit not another one" or the "I can't be bothered with you.. scram" look. When I say pain and suffering, I mean the anguish of wanting to hit that fella so bad but knowing that you can't... and trust me, that sucks. At least I had help on the first day from Marcel and my girl... Thanks dude and thanks lover!!!! Oh did I mention that my girl bought a watch for me as a surprise? Cuz we were chilling at bugis street after my first shift and I spotted a watch I liked and I was planning on using my pay to get it the next day but my girl beat me to it and bought it for me while I was on the 2nd shift and hurried down to pass it to me at the end of the day... AWWWW....
alright so i'm digressing but no worries... have alot to say anyways.
Hmm I came home at like 2 plus today cuz I slept over at Jona's chalet... and I must say that he is one heluva boyfriend to have... he booked the chalet for Amanda and settled almost everything that needed to be settled himself and I couldn't offer anything in return except being there... I'm sorry Jona, one day, it'll be my turn.. but thanks really. It was fun but seriously, I didn't see why that fuck face needed to come... and you close people should noe who I'm talking about... acting like he owns the place and disturbing ppl in their slumber. I'm a tired guy who's been working on my girl's present for like god knows how long and I deserve some sleep at least but no... he thinks he's funny... methinks not... fat fuck...
Oh well upon reaching home, I kept my focus and worked on the present yet again... but sadly, I couldn't finish it in time for my girl... I'm sorry once again lover! I probably left the house at 5 plus and went to collect the flowers from gardens... SOMEONE was 30mins late... but she's sick so I shall close one eye... lol.. The way i gave her the flowers was really weird I turned my back on her and hid the flowers in front of me and when she was near I just turned around and thrust the boquet to her lovingly (sounds funny) oh well... yea glad you liked the roses babe... We went to sushi tei to eat!!!! Sukiyaki and softshell crab sushi... HEAVEN!!! hahaha... it was my first time eating there and it left a good impression so I'll definitely go back there one day... today was a day of many firsts! my first valentine's day with a girlfriend, my first time giving someone flowers... yea... ok so anyways after that we went to plaza to watch THE PROTEGE... it's quite a good movie really... thought the reviews said it was a 3 star show... I'd give it 3 half? I'm too lazy to write a review about it so yea just trust my ratings... I know that our valentine's day was a lil cliche and everything but what mattered was that I got to spend time with her and enjoy her company... that's what really matters.
Glad you enjoyed your day babe...
Alright I'm about to call that sweet girl of mine now... toodles!
8:11 AM
