two hearts. . . one love. . . bliss

Monday, September 25, 2006

If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the day
If they gave me golden wings,
well I still couldn't fly
without you, nothing would matter

You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty
with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me
If you didn't love me

11:46 PM

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I went to watch "John Tucker must die" with Jamie today. It's a good show to watch.... like seriously!!! Makes people think and stuff.... the appropriate show for me at this time now. 5 STARS man! It's deserved it. Then walked from Plaza Singapura to Orchard.... NEVER IN MY LIFE have I done that... hahaha but oh well there's a first time for everything and we just basically talked.... while she drank her watermelon juice... Then we went over to Ben's place for that special "SURPRISE" for the sec 3s... lol. Definitely had a ball of a time today.... AND I wasn't LATE.... heh... for once. Shocking huh?

I better go down for cat class tml... lol MIA last week already. Hmm... it's either I set like tons of alarms or I won't be able to go tml hahaha.. cuz i'm gonna eat supper with Chee Wee later... Discuss some guy stuff..

I'm so glad that I did what I had to cuz I don't want to be living hiding stuff from everyone that matters... I shall not spoil the show for you but yea that damn John Tucker is good but that's not the life anybody would wanna live... it's for cowards and bastards. Don't be like that yea?

12:58 AM

Friday, September 22, 2006

I can't take it anymore.... I jus need an outlet to vent my frustrations! Do I hear a WHY? even if I don't hear any i'm gonna tell you WHY! Cuz school has officially started and it's just the 2nd day mind you! I'm shagged like a dog! Oh yea i forgot to mention that I have a totally new class and compared to W24P, they're dead boring. Like I said to one of my groupmates today, if everyone feels that their old class was better than this class will not be anything but dull. I admit I'm guilty of that but what am I supposed to do? There's no one there whom I can talk to like Mitchell and Raymond. MOST IMPORTANTLY, there's no class joke! RAM the turn coat traitor that he is, is spending time with his new classmates and forgot bout us already. The old guys have agreed to eat lunch and go home together everyday from today onwards with the exception of RAM cuz we didn't noe where the hell he went. Our Enterprise Faci's such a friggin monster! She alloted jus 7 mins for us to present and just cut us off when we were a lil over time.. and it was our last slide too. I gave her a piece of my mind in my RJ but I had to put it as feedback cuz she happens to be the module chair and I ain't messing around with someone like that cuz I want that grade!

RP really makes a person super tired at the end of the day... and it isn't bout the no of hours that we're in school. It's the amount of thinking and presenting and summarization of words in slides that takes a toll on us poor students. Gerard, Melvin and Co noe me pretty well by now. They don't call me during weekdays cuz i always go home on weekdays. That's why I leave friday for you guys N saturdays for Nelson n Co. Sundays...church and then back to that same old routine once again. My life becomes rather mundane after awhile that's why I so look forward to friday and Just my LUCK... friday has to be SCIENCE module of all modules. Why do I bother so much about school? Well cuz this is my 2nd chance to set something right in my life and I'm so gonna take it.. I've done enough mental harm to my poor mom.

There's this other thing though... this one seems really really special. BUT... maybe I'm not good enough? I'm a nobody actually.... just some other guy. My gut feeling was never that great but I have this feeling in my heart that she's the one! She's the one I can give my heart to again and she won't break it... I'm sure of it. What can go wrong?? I'll make sure nothing will go wrong.. No matter how many sacrifices I have to make, i'll do it. The only thing stopping me is fear... fear that i'm some other guy... a friend... I was never good a telling signs like these.... (and yea i still ain't good) Guess i'll take it real slow... cuz I want this to be something beautiful... if it ever happens and patience is a virtue after all... it'll pay off... I hope.

10:01 PM

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Can you hear the distinct rumble of thunder? The ominous cloud of depression above my drooping head is sinking lower and lower. I just found out my class and man it doesn't sound too good. W25E... what kinda people are gonna be there man? I doubt I shall ever have anyone whom I can dandy words with like Mitchell or Yvonne... Can't play soccer along the corridors.. Can't make fun of RAM... man that sucks. Oh well to hell with it.... I'm just gonna concentrate fully on the work at hand and do whatever it takes to get me up there.

And yes thank you thoughtful rooster for asking me out today.... I had fun. Even though it was like spending most of the time crapping and talking alot... lol.. it was fun nonetheless. Good Luck with work tml!

Ah yes whilst walking the rooster back we discussed some things and I'd have to say that I'm not letting what happened in the past affect my decisions from now on... I will never realise how good a girl is nor will I realise how much feeling we have if I don't try anything. So KUDOS to you my ex memory! It's time to get out of that stupid shell and dare to venture out into the open sea once more. Cuz I will not ever noe what's out there if i don't venture out right? Trust can be built and I as sure as hell wanna build it up again... so like the old man said himself "find someone you feel comfortable with or whatever (what he said was a lil corny so yea), settle down and see what happens from there" I've seen enough of the world and the old man's always right. Love you DAD!

12:11 AM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

HEY! HEY! I'm in relatively high spirits now. Aight Aight let's put everything in order cuz a few things have happened lately so yea.

Firstly, I've started talkin to those 3 idiots and we're sorta like talkin as if nth happened. I'm only gonna say this once, buck up on the organizational skills cuz we all suck at that and next time, someone else think of smth to do for a change. Yeah understooded?

Hmm, Oh and i've been attending weekday mass like once every week hahaha if i keep this up it's gonna be alright cuz at least i'm satisfying the bare requirements of being a catholic. One weekday mass and one weekend.

Ah yes this may sound hilarious but apparently, the dudes are hooked on high school musical (and yes that includes me) BUT the fanatic would be Shaun cuz I heard him listening to it in the toilet while he was bathing tryin to muffle his singin but I heard it. geez... what the hell's wrong with the world. Oh but we do have a surprise coming up for the sec 3s lol... maybe they'll see it sometime near confirmation.

Speaking of Shaun, I swear his damn weighin scale is bonkers. It's like last week I weighed myself and was appalled at the big number 78.0 so i resolved to exercise everyday from then on and I've been sticking rather close to my regime and if I can't jog in the afternoon or morning, you'll see me running around at midnight. Yea so jus like 2 days ago I went over to his place again and I was rather elated at seeing the number down to 75.0 but when i ate like jus a lil bit of noodles (which i stole from melvin's bowl) it went up to 75.5!!!!! That's like so fucking fast man! I rather stick to melvin's weighin scale... cuz it happens to show me that i'm so much lighter and it doesn't increase that rapidly. Oh well this exercise thingy's working well for me. Hopefully i'll be like 65kg by next month

Ah yes, school's starting soon and it's back to that same old daily routine once again. I have a 3.1 grade point average and that ain't too bad don't you think? However, just based in my class alone, 3.1's like below average cuz the average grade is 3.2.... even the damn HMMM gal did better than me. GRRRR..... okay nvm nvm. I guess i deserve it cuz i skipped school here n there once in awhile at the end. I didn't give my best but I managed to pass with a good grade. I'm amazed that it's so easy to score in RP. I mean yea you gotta have common sense and a hardworkin attitude to score but apparently if you jus have a lil of both, you can score pretty well already. I swear those people who were not cut out for books should just go RP. But it is a lil unfair to all those other poly under grads who are still studying and trying so hard to get that good grade. Being from NYP before, I think that the system in RP is amazing and the other polys are like so old school la... lol

Anyways I don't know whether Shaun still wants to go Malaysia tml but if he doesn't then I can wake up so much later and stuff lol... but i do wanna go malaysia though. Oh wells... he says the crime rate there's like high. So I told Baybay that I'd grab my bag very tightly like some baby. I don't think shaun would be amused. GARH.... aight see you all soon! OH and those OF AGE!!!! I'll call you whenever there's like a party organised by "whosgoing" yea?" rest assured, IT'S FREE!!!!!! talk to me bout it if you're interested... but even if you don't, i'll find you! lol nitez!

10:23 AM

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I had a 15 hour long nap today! I came back yesterday from 3 long days of sweat and toil. Oh well it's not as bad as it seems... Facilitating Confirmation Camp. It will be one of my unforgettable experiences I'd have to say.

Let's take it slow and go by each day.

Day 1
Gerard, Mike and I stayed over at melvin's house so obviously all of us came in late cuz we were like watchin dvds all night and managed to have like 30mins of sleep or so. I tried to catch some sleep in the bus but it just didn't come. I dumped my stuff on the floor and then went to take search the place for drinks and food but it was too early to find any. Yea so Father Gerard was doing the first session and I had nothing to lean on so I found myself dozing off every once in awhile. I caught phrases like devil wears prada and summon! hahaha... oh well I made a mental note that during the next session I wasn't gonna be sitting without anything to lean on anymore. I was damn damn tired la. So when sister Gerard was giving her talk, I sorta like went to a corner and rested my head on a chair. I was rudely awakened by Shaun or Melvin who asked me to go to the dorm and sleep. Picture this alright, Ben Teo, Mike, Melvin, GErard and I all went to the dorm to sleep. Call us good youth helpers lol... so anyways I was rudely awoken once again by someone whom I forgot (lucky him) Tellin me to go get the games ready. But setting up our station was damn friggin fun la! Like all of us who went to set up the dirty water game went there clean but came back lookin like we aged 50 years cuz of all the starch and everything. That Damned Melvin started the ball rolling by exploding a bag of starch all over himself, shaun and me. So the station ICs were Jamie, Sarah and myself and we spent most of the night running away from naughty people who wanted to get us dirty. Thereafter, it was just washing up and sleep I guess. Ah yes, I did skip mass in the morning too but that's Yvelyn's fault cuz I jus met her and since I wasn't going for mass (it was pretty much decided already) I ended up talking to her.

Day 2
By some miracle I managed to wake up on time for mass and everything and we had to wake up before 7! The third talk was by father Bill Heng so after morning praise we sat dilligently on the floor and tried to pay attention. At least I didn't fall asleep for this one. Oh yea I forgot to mention my group members yea? I had Amanda de Souza, Ellen, Elyssa, Lavania, Lynette, Melissa Tan, Noel, Pattrick, Jeremy and Aaron. My co facils were Kenny (again), Constance and Shireen. I like my group at least they did share and talk... rather than keep silent and stone. Yea so the second day was jus like more deep stuff like the healing session and everything but I had fun in the night, writing my warm fuzzies and playing that "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW" game.. hahaha I was like damn happy when I managed to figure out the complexity of the game itself. I swear it was a major distraction from the warm fuzzies I was supposed to be doing. Now for that, you can blame Marlie, Devinna, BayBay and Krifith. When I finally managed to finish it up it was pretty much sleep for me and the guys. Thinking bout it, I managed to evade alot of things and was often caught at the dining area talkin to Yveloin lol... walao the whole day was damn dry la.

Day 3
*sheepish grin* Gerard and I woke up super dooper late. I seriously dunno why it was only the both of us but when I woke up, I got this like huge shock cuz it was 11am and I thought I was the only one who overslept but lo and behold, when i turned around there he was.... STILL SLEEPING... Mr Gerard Teo. So the day ended pretty much normal... I mean there wasn't anything great that happened.. Gerard and I went to eat with lesley though when the bus dropped us in gardens.

This afternoon I woke up thinkin of like the Sec 3s and confirmation. Like in 7 weeks or so, they're gonna be gone and we'll be helping out with a new batch next year. With those thoughts in my head, I felt like crying. Lol I dunno why but i just felt like... cuz I feel so attached to everyone now and I noe I probably won't see like half of them ever again. Oh well... hope some of them come help us next year!

2:25 AM